Banging head against a wall

I am having a hard day today. In three years I will be thirty and I don't know what to expect. I know I don't want to be a singer or actor because I will be unhappy, but it seems the quickest way to make money. I don't think it's my calling in life. I've done well singing and acting but the thought of being a performer leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. At same time, I wonder if not taking opportunites that are consistantly offered to me in those professions is a big mistake? I've been approached numerous times to be a singer, but that is not the path I want to carve for myself. As I sit here broke, I wonder if I should trade in my part sanity for a quick buck. Don't get me wrong, I love to sing and perform, I just don't want to do it for a living. I want to be behind the camera, but you need more experience and skills behind the camera, then in front. Anyone who can carry a note, can become a singer.

I look at most of the disney kids like Miley Cyrus who can't "sing" but can carry a note. At her age, I was a better singer, still am. There are so many of them, doing what they love. So the question is, should you do what you love or what you are good at? I am good at singing, but I want to be a filmmaker, which is taking a lot longer and time is passing by. Should I do back up singing to make some side cash, while I try to fund my film projects? I dread, singing for money and after 2001, I hoped  would never have to sing again. As I'm sitting here, crying and banging my head against a wall...I've decide to become more creative in looking at money. Once I don't have to put out an album or write music, I will be content, singing back up, just for a quick buck. If those disney kids can do it, so can I. Sometimes you have to see the bigger picture. I haven't sang in front of a crowd since 2001